Friday, February 29, 2008

Apparently, I'm diseased.

I have acid reflux disease. I've been hoping it was something else, like maybe the world's longest and only non-contagious stomach flu. This has been going on since July (hmm, the month my father-in-law's office caught fire and a giant tree limb crushed my kitchen...) I finally saw a doctor two weeks ago and got medicated. It didn't seem to be working, so when I forgot it on Wednesday I learned it apparently is working. I thought I was going to die most of the day. So yesterday, I decided to cut out just coffee and chocolate to see if those were triggers for me, but I still took my pill. No reflux. CRAP!!! No coffee, chocolate, or pizza! It's not like I have to have those foods to live, but they can be so enjoyable. I also learned from a friend who is also professionally medicated for this that her main trigger is tea, and with summertime coming that makes me very sad. I love me some sweet tea. So this morning, instead of coffee, I brewed some ginger root tea and sweetened it with honey. I'm hoping that the natural stomach settling properties of ginger will keep me from refluxing too much and that the hot drink will be an ample substitute for morning coffee. The kids were up at six, so in another couple of hours I'll be wanting some caffeine.

Happy Leapday!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Thirty is the new twenty

Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday to me
Happy birthday dear me
Happy birthday to me!

Yesterday was my birthday and as it was Sunday, I avoided the internet. Turns out, becoming thirty was pretty anti-climatic. My husband sang happy birthday to me when he got home from work. Then we went to church. Then, we met my family at the Bier Garden (the website kind of sucks but the food and beer is awesome). We enjoyed a leisurely meal, followed by presents for me: dark chocolate espresso beans (for when I need a buzz tending to my preschoolers) and some yummy smelly stuff (the healing garden's organics fig & lavender lotion and body mist) from my sister, Grants (50 bucks) each from Mama, Daddy, and Nana (that's three wishes GRANT-ed!!), thirty bucks from Papaw, Kohl's gift card from Larry, Yankee Candle electrics, and 20 bucks and a reusable bag from the Kilgore clan. Hubby said I would get my gift from him after the kids went to bed, but then he fell asleep. Too bad for him! Personally, I'd rather have something a little more lasting than a roll in the hay for my thirtieth birthday, anyway. Guess maybe I should have given him a list or something.

I frogged my prayer socks. I just wasn't feeling the love from the socks themselves. I was trying toe-up for the first time, and I think it's a little bit against the purpose of prayer socks to be dreading working on them. The yarn is beautiful so I'm just going to do something simple. Simple will show off the colors of the yarn and allow me to focus on the praying part of the socks.

No other knitting right now, because I only have a month to finish these. I'll probably work on the sheep blanket that has been hibernating for some time now. I put too much time and energy into it before and it would be a shame for it to never be finished.

So I've never really participated in Lenten fasting, but I really felt led to try it this year. I didn't feel like there was any food that would lead me into a closer walk with the Lord, so I opted for activity fasting. On Sundays, I am avoiding the computer and the internet (except for a quick 15 minutes in the evening if there are plans for Monday that involve emails or message boards). Instead, I use the extra time to read my Bible, work on CBS, or spend time with my family. Also, I have an evening game addiction: I play computer solitaire or do crosswords once I get up to bed. Instead, I read the Bible or a Christian book. I would like to fast food sometime in the future. For me personally, there is no one food item that I feel fasting it would bring me closer to the Lord. If I fast food, it would probably be a meal. I have come to understand that not all Christian practices are for any one person at all times. At this time in my life (mom of two active preschoolers), I am not feeling led to fast food. I imagine it is because fasting involves a certain amount of preparation and time. It can lead to weakness in the body from lack of energy. I need all that energy. Someday, I hope I can fast for a period, whether a day or longer.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Keeper of the Keys

I seem to be a little chatty lately.

What will I do when my children are a touch older and I can no longer control them and their little worlds? As they grow up, they will be able to make their own decisions and I will have no say, or at least less say. For example, soon they will be too big for baby gates. They will be able to open them on their own (the boy already can). Then, I will not be able to keep them in their room while I catch a few extra winks. They will wake up and go downstairs on their own. Everything in the house will be fair game. They will be able to get to all the snacks/candy that I currently hide from them.

Suddenly there will be more battles of the will than just the "I want more juice" battles. It will be "I want ice cream/candy/chocolate/soda/everything-else-that-you-and-daddy-keep-for-yourselves" battles. Bedtime will no longer be the simple read/pray/sing/tuck; it will become "I'm not ready to go yet."

I will have to have more rational responses than just, "because I said so" or "because I'm the Mama." I will have to be more responsible about what I bring into the house. I will have to be more creative with my hiding places.

Parenting will be harder as they grow older, not easier with experience. As if it's not hard already. They will develop more personality, not less. And that's a good thing, right? I don't want to raise little robots who always do exactly what they are told without question. I want them to grow up to be free-thinking adults who can function independently of me, or anyone else.

I love my children. I love them so much that the thought of being without them makes me ill. It's just I never got to thinking about them as 6 year olds or 12 year olds or 16 year olds. I've been thinking about myself (and other people I knew) at various ages. I suddenly have a new appreciation for my own parents. I was not a horrible child. I didn't get into much trouble. But I know what is out there. I just know that good intentions from parents do not stop children from making poor choices. My life could have turned out very differently if I had made any one decision differently. That is what is the most frightening thing of all. One thing. One choice. One misstep. I don't want my children to face the same chances/dangers I did, but how else would they grow?

He said it would be done way before Thanksgiving

He lied.

~The Timeline~
July 28th, 2007: the ginormous tree limb falls, punching a hole in the roof over the kitchen sink
July 30th, 2007: clean-up begins
October 18th, 2007: demolition/rebuilding begins

November 28th, 2007: contractors complete the main portion of the rebuilding
December 7th, 2007: cabinets ordered
January 17th, 2008: cabinets arrive and upper cabinets installed (by husband and me)
January 28th, 2008: friend finally available to assist with lower cabinets (more complicated than uppers as some must be cut on bottoms to account for sloping floor)
February 9th, 2008: today

My kitchen is still not done. It has been over six months. We have not ordered the countertop. My husband would like to redo the floor. He wants to have the floor heated, as the kitchen is not heated (we have radiators for heat and no central air and the kitchen was an add-on). We still have to have the final inspection. At least I'm not doing dishes in the bathroom sink anymore. We went from having 3 cabinets to 14. It's amazing. I'm still not sure how to set it all up. I'm getting there, though.

Friday, February 8, 2008

To the grey hairs on my head:

I know you are there. I'm not stupid. Just because you don't show yourselves often doesn't mean you aren't there. I also know how lucky I am. I will be 30 this month and I can count on one hand the number of you I have found in my lifetime (one of whom was when I was 15: what's up with that??). I would just like to ask that you show yourselves when we are at home. It's annoying to walk into a friend's bathroom and have you standing straight up (well, curly up anyway) and announcing my age. Granted, it is more effective if others see you before I do. You know that you will be plucked as soon as I see you, at least until you complete your plan of outnumbering the brown hairs. So, should I give in now? Should I succomb to your conspiracy with VO5 and Garnier and replace my natural color (which I like just fine, thank you very much) with something from a bottle? Should I leave the world of maintenance-free hair (I'm a wash-and-go girl) and join the ranks of women who are constantly checking for that dye line to avoid showing their grey? And why exactly do you choose to reveal your plan so close to my birthday? Is it because I wasn't dreading 30? Am I supposed to be upset at the approach of a new decade? I just kinda looked at it as, "wow, 30, a new first digit." Now it's like a body alarm is going off: 30 years. Time for a tune up or something.