fb in Ptown

I think facebook has killed my meager blogging skills. It's so easy to just type in whatever you're thinking at the moment and limit the characters. It makes me sad. I'll be better about blogging. Maybe. I hope. I like blogging. For now, I'll keep knitting my Hanami, which needs a clever name. Another day. I have no ac in my living room right now and it's about 100* outside. I can't think. Good night.

Storytelling in Ptown. Or not.

I wish I could write. I mean, I can write, but I wish I could write well. You know what I mean: the kind of writing that inspires and entertains. Some of my favorite blogs to read are by gifted writers. These blogs are more than simply records of events. They are stories of events. I wish I was a storyteller.

Here's an example.
HokieBoy was in the tub the other day with his hand on his manparts. So I ask him if he needs to pee. He says no. So I asked why he was holding himself. He says, "I love my penis. My penis makes me happy. My penis makes pee. I hate pee. But I love my penis."

See, there's a record of what happened. Funny, but not terribly gripping. (Get it? He was gripping... nevermind.) How can I make this into a story of what happened? I want to tell the truth without exaggerating, because the truth is funny enough. Maybe I should find a class or something in all my extra time.

Not a lot of Knitting in Ptown

I have so much to say, and no idea where to begin. So I will write a little today, and maybe I'll feel a little better.

I finished the race last month! My goal was to finish it before they closed the course, and I succeeded. In fact, I completed 13.1 miles in a little under 3 hours. (Just for fun: they close the course after 4 hours.) Then, I thought I was going to die. For about 7 hours, I wanted to throw up. I felt like I had the flu. In the meantime, I was throwing a party for my four year old. I was fun that evening. Finally, I managed to eat some birthday cake and I was healed! Guess a little sugar can go a long way.

HokieBabyGirl hasn't been gaining weight these past two months. At her 4 month checkup, she was 10# 2oz and just below the bottom 3% curve. That was about where she had been all along. At 6 months and 2 weeks, she was 10# 4oz. She fell not only off her curve, but off the chart. She gained 2 ounces in 2 1/2 months. Not good. Her pediatrician wants me to supplement with formula and come back for a weight check. I am working with a Lactation Consultant, supplementing my diet, pumping frequently, and supplementing HBG with pumped milk, formula, and fatty solids. Turns out, she kind of likes avocado mixed with rice cereal and formula.

I'm a little stressed out about it. I'm trying not to post anything about it on facebook. My mom and dad follow my facebook page, and I think my mom is mad at me for not just putting HBG on formula and getting over it. I don't like formula. I nursed two babies successfully for a year after rough starts and I'm not giving up on this one. I can do this. I have the desire, the support of my husband, professional assistance, and time at home to do this. What I don't need is to hear things like, "formula isn't that bad; I agonized over it for you and your sister; it's come a long way in 30 years." The bottom line is this: I want what is best for my baby, and I believe with all my heart that breastmilk is best. If I cannot bring my milk supply back to where it must be to feed my daughter, then I will do what needs to be done for her to thrive.

Needless to say, there is not a lot of knitting going on around here. Oh well.

Life as a Mother of 3 in Ptown

Here I sit in my cozy living room, thinking about all the changes that have happened since I last posted anything on here. I am now a mother to 3 beautiful babies. I own the biggest truck my husband could find (a 2002 Ford Excursion. It runs on diesel.) We have a wood stove in our living room, a new powder room, and our washer and dryer are now downstairs. I am also on my way to being an "athlete," if I can get my act together.

HokieBabyGirl was born on September 14, 2010, despite my doctors being convinced I wasn't in active labor. She was 36 weeks gestation and is classified as a near-term preemie (37 weeks being considered term.) That makes hers my longest pregnancy (HokieBoy was 32 weeks, HokieGirl was 34.) A week later, we drove to Richmond and got the Great Orange Beast, or GOB. My mother in law and her sister came down from the 'Burgh for a long weekend to meet HokieBabyGirl. We spent Thanksgiving in the 'Burgh and Christmas at home. After the New Year, we went back to the 'Burgh to celebrate Christmas with HokieHubby's family. They had some lovely snow (around 8 inches with fresh snow falling each day), and I truly thought that would be it for the snow for us this year. I was wrong, as our little cottage was covered with 8 inches of the stuff last weekend, all falling between 0345 and 1200 on Saturday. Now a week later, most of it has melted and a new storm is on its way. We are predicted to received 1-3 inches tomorrow. Yuck.

I signed up to run in the Shamrock Half Marathon on March 20th. WHAT??? That's right. I, a woman who *hates* to sweat, signed up for a 1/2 marathon. I haven't run since college, and even then I was never successful. I haven't worked out since then either. I have not performed any serious exercise in over 10 years. Why would I want to run a 1/2 marathon? Because I'm sick of being overweight and out of shape. I don't want to be the fat and frumpy mom anymore. So, I set for myself a concrete goal with a deadline. I am not interested in running the entire 13.1 miles, just completing them.

I'm knitting a little more now. I've completed my Swallowtail shawl that I began in July, and now I wonder how on earth I'm going to use a rainbow striped lace shawl. I made an orange and maroon hat modeled off the hats worn on the sidelines of the Steelers games. I made a little hat for HokieBabyGirl that caused a mommy friend to request one for her son's birthday. Normally I would decline, but I love this woman and I couldn't resist. Fortunately, the hat took very little time.

Now that my baby is 4 1/2 months old, I think I can honestly say I'm getting the hang of things. Now that's not to say I'm good at things. It took a while, but we are getting to MOPs regularly and to Bible Study each week. Of course, the fact that we are not traveling again until May helps with the mindset. I *know* what I should do each day to make life easier, but I'm not all that great at follow through. I *should* restock the diaper bag each evening, reload my gym bag (yes, I have a gym bag now! That's another major change in my life!), and take care of basic chores each day. If I could stick to routines life would be very easy.

A mommy blogger I follow is doing a piece about Mommy Myth Busting. She has been a SAHM for some time now, but is trying on some other hats for a book. This week, she is a working mom. She is learning about how hard it is. I can only imagine how hard it is. It sounds like a great idea: give the kids to someone else to look after and go hang with grownups all day. Then, you've had enough time to miss the kids and when you get home your happy to spend the evening with them. Yeah, right. I can just see it. Get up at the butt-crack of dawn to get myself ready for work. Then get 3 kids dressed and ready to go. Feed everyone and let the dog out. Get everyone in the car and to the sitter. Be stuck in an office all day. Sure, I might get to chat with grownups, but I'd also have to answer to a real boss. Then, by the time I get home from work and picking up the kids, I have to get dinner on the table because you know we are all *starving*. I. Don't. Think. So.

I will continue being a homeschooling sahm. Our days are ours and I can do as much or as little as I want. I do need to be a better home manager though. My house is a constant wreck. We have entirely too much stuff. I call it crap, but HokieHubby gets upset with that term. My plan for now is to finish the baby's room and then go through the kids clothes and get rid of as much as possible. After that comes the toys. Oh the humanity!

Pictures 8.14.09

Menu Plan Mo-Wednesday??

Well, shoot, it's Wednesday and there is no updated Menu for the week. Things have been a little crazy at our little Ptown Cottage. We are still in the middle of the new bathroom/laundry closet remodel and the HokieChildren and I spent the night with my mom. So we've been making it up as we go along, which isn't always the best. The house is sucking up all of our extra funds, so I'm facing the fact that I cannot just run down the street to get pizza or Chinese food. It's a good thing we have a ton of food in the house right now.

Breakfast: cereal, eggs/bacon, cream of wheat, oatmeal
Lunch: pb&j, soup, spaghettios, leftovers
Dinner:
Monday: potluck, aka whatever-is-in-the-icebox-that-hasn't-died-yet
Tuesday: Chinese Stir Fry and tomato & cucumber salad
Wednesday: breakfast for dinner
Thursday:
Friday:
Saturday:
Sunday:
Monday:

After today, everything is pretty much up in the air. My inlaws (mother,aunt, sister,nephew, sister's boyfriend, his son) are coming down today/tomorrow for 2 weeks. We are all on a budget though, so eating out will not happen often. Fortunately, I have stuff in the freezer.

steaks, baked potatoes, corn on the cob
pork roast with veggies
spaghetti
pork chops (might have to buy more)
fajitas (will need to get side dishes)
steaks again (I have many)

We'll be winging it frequently. We're planning to spend time at the beach so maybe we will picnic and even cookout there. It's all a big fat question mark.

Good thing I'm pretty easy going!

Pregnant and Anxious in Ptown

*Caution* Ramblings of a hormonal pregnant woman ahead. Read at your own risk!

HokieHubby and I decided some time ago, back when HokieGirl was teeny, that we might want to expand our little HokieFamily. We knew this wasn't necessarily going to be a popular idea. HokieBoy was a 32 week preemie and spent a month in the hospital, then came home on a heart monitor. When he was about 5 months old I was diagnosed with post-partum depression. HokieGirl was a 34 week preemie whose main issue was she was too tired to eat to get rid of her jaundice. (By the way, you wouldn't know it the way she's been eating since then!) With my medical history, why risk it when others could be premature as well? We had one of each gender, so why would we want more kids? More kids mean more expenses and I'm a stay at home mom so would I go to work? HokieHubby and I carefully considered these things and decided that yes, we do want more children. So, we did... *ahem* get pregnant.

The first two pregnancies were pretty easy. I had no indication that I was going to have preemies until less than 12 hours before they were born, and even then we were trying everything to get them to stay put. I loved being pregnant. Sure there were parts I could have done without: heartburn, difficult sleeping positions, having to use the bathroom all the time. Labor and delivery weren't terrible, although there were moments I'm sure I have forgotten. Recovery sucks: ice packs, sitz baths, and having a hard time sitting or using the bathroom. Oh, and pumping milk for a preemie 8 times a day is killer on your nipples. I'll only briefly mention the agony of walking around and seeing pregnant women everywhere and my baby was in the NICU, fighting for life. (I think I have a very small grasp of how women who miscarry must feel in public. A very, very small grasp.)

This time around, I'm a little older, and yes there is a difference between being 25 and pregnant and being 31 and pregnant. I've been rather surprised at that. My body is handling this one much differently. I needed maternity pants from the second month. My back aches differently and my uterus seems to sit lower from having been through this twice before.

Mentally, I'm a basketcase. I try to rely on God all the time, praying that he will take the anxiety from me and help me to let him keep it. I don't think I ever had Braxton-Hickes contractions with the other two, but I've been having them every day for over two weeks now. I was in the hospital once already because they got regular instead of random. I'm 28 weeks pregnant, which means we still have 4 weeks to go until I know roughly what to expect with a preemie and 6 weeks until my doctor says he's okay with me delivering. What I want more than anything, though, is to make it another 10-12 weeks so this HokieBaby can be full-term. I'm afraid of failing again. I know it's not my fault babies don't stay the full 40 weeks. (I also know there are plenty of women out there who wish their babies would be born a little early.) I don't want to leave my HokieBaby at the hospital again. It almost killed me to leave the first one, but I spent hours everyday at his side. The second one wasn't as bad because I had HokieBoy at home who needed me and HokieGirl wasn't nearly as sick as HokieBoy had been.

Each week that passes and I am still pregnant is a huge relief that I didn't even know I was waiting for. I have prayed, and others have prayed for me and this baby. God knows what my desires are, and I know that He has plans for me and baby. I know that He will use all things in my life for good because I believe in Him. Is it terrible that my prayer is that He allows me to have a perfectly typical birth rather than allow me to suffer through another premature delivery? Use me in my joy as a testament to God, that He hears our prayers and grants miracles!

October 9th is a long time away. I feel as though I have been in a mini-goal mindset forever. 24 weeks, then 26 weeks, now 28 weeks. Each week is a blessing. I know this, and I am so thankful that I can get and stay pregnant when some of my friends struggle with infertility or miscarriage.

If you are a Christian, please pray for me and my little one. Please pray that God will continue to take my anxiety even when I keep taking it back. Pray that I'll be able to leave it with Him. I know that Jesus tells us not to worry about tomorrow, but I am human and prone to thinking I can do this on my own. Please pray that this little one is born in October, healthy and full-term, but that if He should allow otherwise that I will rely on His strength at all times.

If you are not a Christian, I appreciate your friendship as much as my Christian friends and welcome your warm thoughts for my family. There is room in my life for caring people of all religions or no religion.